Time to disappear ?
I haven't made a PROPER in months now. So what you may ask, made me write one now ? Umm, I dunno. Humans have since times immemorial have craved for attention. We all do need some attention at all points of our life. Sometimes it is this insatiable craving that drives us, either nuts or sometimes towards progress. So back to the original question is it really a time to disappear ?
Me writing this post completely defeats the purpose of disappearing. In the past, I have tried a number of times to go off facebook and other social networks. The maximum time I could refrain myself from the service was about 2 weeks. After which under the pretext of logging into a game I had to sign back in and thus I returned back on facebook. Now a you may say that I might have needed FB login for my stuff and so logged back in. But deep inside I know that, I was craving for attention, something that I get in enormous quantities on sites like these.
Disappearing may be a hard thing to do. These days we are so much connected that even the holiday destinations we visit to unwind and disconnect from the hustle and bustle are also connected. They only make us more miserable and stressful, which clearly defeats their purpose. I'll soon be going on a small vacation to a wildlife sanctuary and I hope that I'll be able to refrain myself from getting connected to this huge network aka 'Moh Maya'
So far I have said all about how I tried to disappear or perhaps why I couldn't disappear. The answer to which is all the excuses above. In all this fray, I left out the most important part Why would I want to do such a nasty thing ? I'm no spy that would like to lurk around the shadows nor am I a stalker or someone who has done something wrong. What is it that makes want to disappear, even though some part of me never wants to ? Truth be told initially even I didn't know about it. Seriously I didn't know why such idiotic and baseless thoughts coming to me. They were puzzling.
Then like an idiot ? I thought over it. I was tired. I needed some rest, some peace of mind. In easy words the part of my head which handles the relations and social bonds was tired. And so it went into the neutral state initially. During this period I maintained minimal contact with friends. An occasional hi or some chatter. Liking someones post, teasing someone on reddit or facebook. It was a lot like the usual friendly me but it was different. During that period, I didn't share much or post anything by myself. This later went into the negative phase. During this phase. I did go to these sites. But I didn't publicly like or comment on the posts. I kept my thoughts to myself and a lot of times they were pure destructive, evil and negative thoughts.
I still don't know why they were so evil. Maybe a mechanism to make me stop using the sites. Or perhaps my pent up anger on the society. It was during this period that I saw a lot of anime. Something which calmed me down. During this time I talked only with my family members and kept my chats with others small and quick. This was boring. And this might have happened maybe because my mind was trying to cool itself down. Only psychologists and medical science may have the answers to this anomaly.
So in the end (which is a great song), will I disappear ? Not anytime soon. For now I gotta go. But I'll try to keep my posts more frequent. Bye TC. The brain is mysterious just like the rest of the universe...
Me writing this post completely defeats the purpose of disappearing. In the past, I have tried a number of times to go off facebook and other social networks. The maximum time I could refrain myself from the service was about 2 weeks. After which under the pretext of logging into a game I had to sign back in and thus I returned back on facebook. Now a you may say that I might have needed FB login for my stuff and so logged back in. But deep inside I know that, I was craving for attention, something that I get in enormous quantities on sites like these.
Disappearing may be a hard thing to do. These days we are so much connected that even the holiday destinations we visit to unwind and disconnect from the hustle and bustle are also connected. They only make us more miserable and stressful, which clearly defeats their purpose. I'll soon be going on a small vacation to a wildlife sanctuary and I hope that I'll be able to refrain myself from getting connected to this huge network aka 'Moh Maya'
So far I have said all about how I tried to disappear or perhaps why I couldn't disappear. The answer to which is all the excuses above. In all this fray, I left out the most important part Why would I want to do such a nasty thing ? I'm no spy that would like to lurk around the shadows nor am I a stalker or someone who has done something wrong. What is it that makes want to disappear, even though some part of me never wants to ? Truth be told initially even I didn't know about it. Seriously I didn't know why such idiotic and baseless thoughts coming to me. They were puzzling.
Then like an idiot ? I thought over it. I was tired. I needed some rest, some peace of mind. In easy words the part of my head which handles the relations and social bonds was tired. And so it went into the neutral state initially. During this period I maintained minimal contact with friends. An occasional hi or some chatter. Liking someones post, teasing someone on reddit or facebook. It was a lot like the usual friendly me but it was different. During that period, I didn't share much or post anything by myself. This later went into the negative phase. During this phase. I did go to these sites. But I didn't publicly like or comment on the posts. I kept my thoughts to myself and a lot of times they were pure destructive, evil and negative thoughts.
I still don't know why they were so evil. Maybe a mechanism to make me stop using the sites. Or perhaps my pent up anger on the society. It was during this period that I saw a lot of anime. Something which calmed me down. During this time I talked only with my family members and kept my chats with others small and quick. This was boring. And this might have happened maybe because my mind was trying to cool itself down. Only psychologists and medical science may have the answers to this anomaly.
So in the end (which is a great song), will I disappear ? Not anytime soon. For now I gotta go. But I'll try to keep my posts more frequent. Bye TC. The brain is mysterious just like the rest of the universe...
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